“Pears Don’t Wear Underwear,” Thoughts on Ferguson

Young Black girl with braided hair, wearing a soccer kit and sitting cross legged in a Pugg soccer goal with her hands folded in a meditation pose while grinning widely.

I have been wanting to write this article for many days, but haven’t been able to properly formulate my thoughts. It’s emotionally and psychologically challenging as a fellow human being, but it’s concerning to me on a personal level as well. You see, I’m a white man with five children — and three of them are black.

The thing is, I don’t know how to prepare my black boys for this kind of society. The kind of society that harbors police officers who murder young, black men. I look at a boy like Michael Brown, and can’t help but wonder if my black sons will find themselves in a comparable situation at some point in their lives.

Then, this morning while ironing my shirt, when my daughter made everything clear to me. This beautiful, gentle, loving creature walks into the room mumbling and giggling, and says to me “pears don’t wear underwear. That would be silly.” It took me a moment to process what she said, then I replied, “what?” She reiterated her point about fruit wearing clothes. I agreed about its absurdity. Then she ran out of the room.

Our conversation was about fruit. And underwear. But there was a bigger story that I wasn’t seeing. There was a preface that I missed. And this is what it’s like talking about Ferguson. We’re all talking about the micro moments instead of looking at the real issue on the table. The latter would help us all heal, and make the world a better place.

Following, are my thoughts on talking about the preface instead of the fruit.

Michael Brown

I have seen the video of a boy said to be Michael Brown in a convenience store, shortly before Michael Brown was murdered. He was stealing some cigarillos from the store before bullying the clerk while walking out. It definitely made me feel uncomfortable.

What we’re talking about:

How he’s a “thug,” how he “committed a crime which commands repercussions,” and whether or not his murder was “justified.”

What we should be talking about:

How the Michael Browns of the world reach this point in life. Our focus should be on paving a brighter path for the Michael Browns, not hunting them down when they react to the society around them. We should be helping our children flourish instead of closing schools in bulk in areas comprising primarily black and low-income families and building $400 million prison facilities with the savings.

Darren Wilson

He murdered another human being. This is fact. Some claim he acted in self-defense, while others claim his actions were racially motivated. Either way, he shot an unarmed teenager six times in broad daylight.

What we’re talking about:

The validity of his excessive force.

What we should be talking about:

How police officers are being trained. If/how they’re being screened for aggressive tendencies, racial preferences, histories with domestic abuse, and mental illness. How the Darren Wilsons of the world come to have guns, badges, and a gross inability to make proper decisions about the use of force.

Darren Wilson shot Michael Brown six times. How many of those shots were required to defend himself (if defense was even necessary)? Why are police officers murdering young black men in droves? Not just in St. Louis County, where there were fourteen fatal officer-involved shootings in the last ten years — of which only four were so much as brought to a grand jury — but all over the country.

Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin got all the ink, but there are countless others who have died at the hands of police officers. Just this fall alone we know of John Crawford, Darrien Hunt, Ezell Ford, Eric Garner, and 12-year-old Tamir Rice.

Bob McCulloch

Bob was the prosecutor in the grand jury for Michael Brown. His office has been in charge of six grand jury investigations of fatal shootings by St. Louis County police officers during his tenure. Not one murderer was indicted. This includes Darren Wilson.

What we’re talking about:

The evidence.

What we should be talking about:

The consistent record of the offices of Bob McCulloch and other prosecutors failing to indict badged murderers, claiming their actions are justified. How it’s near impossible to indict a police officer. How the FBI reported that in 2012 there were 410 “justified homicides” by police officers in America. The highest number in over two decades, even though the national number of civilian homicides continues to drop. How, according to calculations by USA Today, between 2005–2012 in America there were 672 black men murdered by white police officers. How Bob’s handling of the Michael Brown grand jury invites criticism even from a man like Justice Antonin Scalia.

Looters and rioters

We knew it was coming. It was the silence before the storm. A replay of the L.A. riots being summoned by the same negative energy that has been quietly simmering for years.

What we’re talking about:

Burning cop cars, black men wearing masks, and riot squads.

What we should be talking about:

Race in America. Why we’re still talking about talking about race in America. The enormity of racial inequality in America, and it’s extreme consequences. How predominately-black communities reach a point where they feel rioting is the only answer. Why we point fingers at angry, black youth in disgust, judgement, and condemnation, rather than investigating why we have an alarming number of people who are crying out for help. Why we spit venom of loathe rather than finding compassion in our hearts. Why we react rather than talk. How we can learn to recognize when a community needs healing, and then reach out to help instead of labeling it permanently broken.


When we continue talking about Michael Brown, Darren Wilson, and Ferguson rioters, we’re not having the right conversation. Sure, they’re relevant now. At this moment. But in twenty years they’ll be Rodney King and the L.A. riots. And when that day comes, will we be having this same conversation because another white police officer murdered another young, black man without consequence, followed by community outrage and rioting? We certainly don’t have to.

In order to advance beyond this cycle of violence and racism, we need to have the right conversation about how we got to this point, why we’re still here, and how we can pave a new path with compassion and love. That’s how we heal communities who are in pain. That’s how we come together as one race and help each other flourish.

My sweet daughter has no idea what’s happening a mere two thousand miles from our home, in Ferguson, Missouri. One day she will, and we’ll talk about it. We’ll have conversations about race and violence; about love and compassion. Not about who’s wrong and who’s right. We’ll talk about planting seeds of love internally, then sharing what grows externally. And, if she’s still interested in talking about pears in underwear, I’ll ask her to tell me the entire story.

#AbolishThePolice #Abolition #SystemicRacism #Ferguson #BlackLivesMatter #MichaelBrown #WhitePrivilege #AmericanGenocide

Like this? Find out when I publish new work.


Illustration of me with a content facial expression. I am wearing a wine colored beanie, teal glasses, and my long full beard is brown with gray edges. There is a dreary forest in the background.
I’m Mark Wyner, an activist, dad, husband, Designer, writer, public speaker, and Mastodon moderator. If you want me to write for you or speak at your event please say hello.